The Power of Words

I recently had a conversation with a friend who lives out of the country. It was just a casual conversation at first, the kind where two friends play catch up and all that. Well, in the course of this conversation, I used the word “hate”. At the time, we were discussing politics. I wasn’t using it in a negative way and I really only meant “dislike”. However, this person doesn’t believe you should ever use the word “hate” in any way because it’s negative and therefore it hurts you for using it.

(Note: this same person said that I shouldn’t bother voting because my vote won’t change anything, so obviously someone is a cynic and cynicism is negative, but that’s a debate for another day.)

While I understand his perception of the word “hate” and the negative things that come with it, it makes me wonder about the flip-side: What about the word “love”? How many times a day do we say, “OMG! I just love that!” when we don’t really love it, we are just using the word as a substitute for “really like”. Should I stop saying the words “love”, too? I know in America, we constantly dilute words to the point that they don’t have the same connotations as how the rest of the world sees it. A good idea of how the word “hate” is diluted is how this author described their view of it:

Hate. It is defined by the dictionary as disliking intensely or passionately. I was raised to use the word loosely. Cries of “I hate peas!” or “I hate doing dishes!” resounded throughout the years of my childhood.
Did I ever go out to the garden and rip up the pea vines? No. Did I ever break the dishes defiantly to avoid cleaning them? Maybe. That’s beside the point.

Certain words have us divided. I am sure anyone who is knowledgeable enough to read this blog knows what I mean when I say the “N” word. This particular word probably has more hate behind it in the U.S. than the actual word “hate”, yet so many people use it in a flippant way, such as describing their friends, but get angry when someone of another race uses it. I see this word as racist regardless of who is using it, and I am not a racist. I may claim to be an equal opportunity discriminator, but that’s all in jest and the reality is I am very against racism and you could even say that I “hate” it.

So what does the pollution of words mean to us? Hate doesn’t necessarily mean hate unless you live outside the U.S., someone takes you literally, or you say it with disgust or anger? Love doesn’t mean love unless you slip a ring on someone’s finger? Hell, for all you Christians out there, even Jesus used the word “hate” in the bible:

Now large crowds were traveling with him; and he turned and said to them, “Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple. (St. Luke 14:25-26 NRSV)

But the author goes on to explain what this meant:

No, Jesus did not tell us to “hate” our families, but to prefer him over the demands of family.

There are so many different ways I can use these words in daily conversation and at the end of the day it doesn’t really matter except to the people who are looking for something deeper in the meaning of it all. The people who feel the need to point out that I said “hate” obviously have hatred towards that word or they wouldn’t have noticed that I have said it to begin with. The majority of people who notice the word “love” seem to be lacking some in their own life, but really, who isn’t, right? Right?!

But one thing I can still say? I hate the “N” word and I dare anyone who can fault me for that.